Royal relations

By guest contributor Jeremy Swan

Quote

“This blessed plot, this earth, this realm, this England, 

This nurse, this teeming womb of royal kings, 

Fear'd by their breed and famous by their birth”  

William Shakespeare, Richard II

News

Millions of people worldwide celebrated the birth of William and Kate’s first child this week. The response was heartening – world leaders sent their congratulations, landmarks around the globe were illuminated and, at its height, over 25,000 tweets were sent every minute. But why has this story so captured our hearts, and what does this say about us?

Worldwide, approximately 255 babies are born every minute. Yet almost all these births are only celebrated by relatives and close friends. In the public sphere, normal family life is seldom deemed newsworthy. More often, the family is affirmed in a negative sense, when we hear of murders, divorce or tragic accidents. The birth of children to celebrities may generate a minor news story, but the arrival of baby Prince George swept every other headline away.

The celebration by vast numbers of ordinary people has, in a sense, validated our inherent belief in the fabric of family life. People around the world feel they have permission to rejoice publicly in the gift of new life because of who William and Kate are. The relational distance between us and the royal couple is bridged by their unpretentious and accessible demeanour. This sense of proximity is strengthened by the fact that Kate is ‘one of us’: a commoner who was swept off her feet by the charming young prince and (we hope) they will live happily ever after.

Not only has the birth publicly conveyed a positive message about the value of family relationships, the shared experience has brought people closer together and reinforced our common humanity.

The young Prince George was born for a lifetime in the public spotlight, and is third in line to the British throne. Let us hope that his life will continue to do what his birth has done:  to reveal to us the joy of commonplace family life and relationships, where the humdrum and the magical meet. 

Read on…

The birth of a first child can bring not only joy but stress to new parents and put their relationship under pressure. The National Childbirth Trust offers information and support for new parents; view their resources here.

Walk the talk

How might you reduce the relational distance between you and others who look to you to play a meaningful role in their lives?

The last word

From the Bible, Luke chapter 1, verses 31-32: “You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus... The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David.”

Egypt and the enigma of democracy

Quote

“It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all those other forms that have been tried from time to time.”  Winston Churchill.


News
It took 18 days of mass street protests before Hosni Mubarak stepped down as President of Egypt in 2011, but just four days of similar protests this week led to the downfall of President Morsi.  Both illustrate that principle that ultimately no government can rule without the consent of the people.  But the puzzling question is why did the people of the Arab Spring, who fought hard for democracy two years ago, appear to throw it away by welcoming a military coup?

Democratic structures and procedures are like the visible part of an iceberg; one person one vote, term limits on a government, and free and open elections are some of the measurable elements of democracy, and essential to its success.

However, they must be underpinned by an invisible consensus of values, which are essentially relational, for democracy to thrive.  Every member of society must accept to be governed by people they may not have voted for, and to abide by laws they may disagree with.  This is especially challenging in countries with deep religious, ethnic or ideological divides as in much of the Middle East.

Events this week in Egypt show that democratic elections are valued to the extent they lead to a more free, open and prosperous society.  That is the goal the street protestors are seeking – and if, after a year of government by the Muslim Brotherhood, a military takeover looks more likely to move the country in that direction, then it is deemed acceptable.

The crucial challenge for Egypt in the coming months is to reconcile and then strengthen the bruised relationships on which the future of its fledgling democracy depends: between Muslim Brotherhood activists and supporters of opposition parties, between Coptic Christians and Muslims, between members of the security forces and ordinary Egyptians.

Only then can there be any lasting foundation for a government of the people, by the people, for the people.


Read on...
In the late 1990s a remarkable Christian initiative called the Reconciliation Walk sought to heal religious tensions in the Middle East going right back to the Crusades.  Read an interview with the walk’s leader Lynn Green here.

 
Walk the talk 
How well do you know individuals from a different, ethnic or religious group?  Why not take the initiative and do something to build a genuine relationship with such a person, ideally from the Middle East, and seek to understand their values and ideals?



The last word
From the Bible, Romans chapter 12, verses 17-18: ‘Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.’

Payday Loans and debt slavery

Quote

“Debt, n.  An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.”  Ambrose Bierce (The Devil's Dictionary, 1911)

News

Britain’s Office of Fair Trading (OFT) has referred the entire payday lending industry to the Competition Commission, based on a recent review.  The value of the industry has spiralled from £900 million in 2008/09 to £2.2 billion in 2011/12.  Up to 2 million people currently take out these short term cash loans to make ends meet, at interest rates of typically 25% per month.

 

When made and accepted responsibly, payday loans can be an alternative to unauthorised overdrafts for urgent cash needs.  However, 28% of these loans are not repaid at the end of the month but are rolled over, when the costs start to spiral.  Loans that are rolled over – often because borrowers could not afford them in the first place – provide almost half the total revenues of the industry.

Part of the OFT’s criticism is on how payday loans are sold – emphasising the speed and simplicity of getting cash, rather than the costs and risks involved.  Only 74% of lenders run affordability checks on new clients; the figure falls to just 23% in the case of extending a loan.  This suggests that lenders may not rely so much on prudent lending to ensure high repayment rates, but on their debt collection methods.

Another major criticism by the OFT is that many of the organisations actually making the loans are concealed behind intermediary companies, agents or brokers.  Borrowers have to reveal all their personal details, including mobile phone number, email and address, while the actual lender remains obscure.  This relational distance is part of the reason why the number of complaints against lenders has increased 10 fold in the last 4 years.

It is an indictment on our society that we allow the normalisation of business based on exploiting people’s naivety, hardship or desperation.  Unmanageable debt is a major cause of mental health problems and relationship breakdown.  Debt carries a relational as well as financial cost; alleviating it warrants both kinds of response.  

Read on…

An offshoot of the Occupy Campaign in USA is an imaginative project to buy up a bundle of unpaid medical debts for a fraction of their face value, then cancel them.  Read more about the Rolling Jubilee initiative here.

Walk the talk

There are a growing number of charities that help people manage their debts – providing relational support as well as financial advice.  Could you do something to support one in your area?

The last word

From the Bible, Proverbs 22 verse 7: “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.”

Magnetic Mandela

Quote

“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?” Abraham Lincoln

News

Despite having left the South African presidency in 1999 and stepped out of public life nine years ago, the ailing Nelson Mandela is still a central figure in South African politics and society.  Not because he may hold some power behind the scenes in the ANC, nor because he intervenes in political affairs.  Rather it is due to the extraordinary relational footprint he has left in the nation.

The history of South Africa over the last 20 years could have been very different had Mandela not been such a remarkable leader relationally.  Despite the inhuman conditions of Robben Island prison, Mandela treated his captors with courtesy and respect, to the point where some felt they were more like Mandela’s guests than his jailers. 

Following his release he engaged with the white government leaders with dignity and courage, which slowly won their trust and allowed a passage towards peaceful elections.  Mandela could so easily have been driven by bitterness, resentment and anger which could have led the country towards showdown and civil war.

Other stories are still being told of how Mandela gained the loyalty of the white elite by keeping the same security staff in the presidential palace after coming to power.  The film Invictus tells how he earned the trust of the wider white population by embracing the Springboks – who epitomised Apartheid – and enthusiastically supporting their successful bid to win the 1995 Rugby World Cup.

Mandela’s domestic life was more troubled, and his first two marriages ended in divorce. Nevertheless, his remarkable accomplishment of uniting South Africans across racial and tribal divides, and leading them peacefully from Apartheid to democracy, explains the enduring influence which this frail 94 year old still exerts from his hospital bed – right round the world. 

There is a magnetic power in this remarkable person; no wonder no one wants to let him go.

Read on…

The trial of Nelson Mandela in 1964 led to his 27 years of imprisonment; read his remarkable speech at that trial, carefully documenting the grievances of the black South African population and the ANC’s strategy here.  

Walk the talk

Treating people who are prejudiced against you with dignity and respect can be transformative of the relationship; is there someone you need to respond to in the opposite spirit?

The last word

From the Bible, Matthew 5, verse 39: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

The Woolwich murder: a relational dashboard

Quote

“Anger ventilated often hurries toward forgiveness; and concealed often hardens into revenge.”  Edward Bulwer-Lytton (British politician and novelist, 1803-73)

News

Wednesday’s brutal murder on an off-duty soldier in London has thrown up a wide range of reactions and responses which serve as indicators of several key relationships in Britain.

Positive scores:

• The courage of members of the public who stopped to help, one woman from Cornwall even engaging an attacker in conversation to try and calm the situation; this suggests a good degree of solidarity across communities in Britain
• Several Muslim community leaders were quick to voice condemnation of the attack, as the perpetrators had delivered an Islamist tirade at the scene.  This points to a strong desire by the Muslim community to distance itself from extremists and affirm its shared values with the rest of the country
• The police who arrived on the scene showed restraint as they didn’t shoot to kill, but instead to disarm, the attackers; this measured response helped to limit the relational damage which might have escalated if they had adopted a heavy handed approach (such as sparked of the London riots in 2011)

Negative scores:

• The time, place and brutality of the attack and the choice of victim suggests that the relationship between Islamist extremists and the British armed services is dire to the point where individual humanity is lost in the hatred generated by ideology
• Sensational media coverage has not served the British public well; it gave a public platform to the jihadists which has led to violent reactions by far right groups such as the English Defence League, and may yet inspire copycat attacks on other members of the armed forces
• By waiting on the scene after the attacks and letting themselves be filmed, the extremists successfully manipulated the media and used them to magnify their message

Read on…

An analysis in the Guardian by a former Cobra staff officer today suggests the government over-reacted by convening the highest national security committee, Cobra, to the detriment of a number of relationships; read the article here.

Walk the talk

The pathway to murder starts with resentment, leading to bitterness, hatred and violence; are you aware of any growing resentment in the heart of someone you know well, which you could help defuse?

The last word

From the Bible, Proverbs chapter 29 verse 8, “Scornful people inflame a city, but those who are wise turn away wrath.”

Sexual exploitation and the limits of freedom

Quote
“The only freedom I care about is the freedom to do right; the freedom to do wrong I am ready to part with on the cheapest terms to anyone who will take it of me.”  Thomas Huxley (atheist and defender of Darwin’s theory of evolution), 1870.
 
News
Seven members of a paedophile gang based in Oxford were sentenced this week, having been guilty of grooming and then sexually exploiting a number of vulnerable girls as young as 11 over several years.  This is the latest in a string of similar cases around British cities.

‘How can this be happening?’ is a phrase cropping up in the media.  Accusations of blame fly in all directions: staff of care homes where most of the girls were living; police and social services who didn’t respond sooner; religious or cultural differences; apathetic members of the public who didn’t speak up; or the girls themselves, for their risky behaviour.

The underlying problem in society is the dilemma between maximising freedom and choice (especially in the area of sex) and the responsibility to protect the more vulnerable members of society.  The reality in our culture is that individual freedom holds the trump card.

Now freedom is all very well, provided there is a way of restraining ‘free’ people from exploiting and abusing others.  There can be three mutually reinforcing sources of such restraint: moral discipline, the cultural consensus, and the law of the land.  What has happened over the last 50 years?  Morality has become highly individualised, and the cultural consensus is no longer influenced by those religious values emphasising the importance of doing right and avoiding sin, on the basis of being accountable to God.

So that increasingly leaves the law and various government agencies, such as police and social services, with the job of stopping people from sexually exploiting vulnerable children.  Is that realistic?

There is something deeply flawed with our culture of individual liberty, as the freedom of some will always be at the expense of the vulnerable or poor or small or disabled.  We cannot delegate their protection to the state.  Instead we need a decisive shift – culturally and personally – towards valuing our relationships and responsibilities one to another, even if that involves some loss of individual freedom.

Read on...
For more details on the actual extent and nature of child sexual exploitation by gangs and groups in Britain, read the Executive Summary of this recent report by the UK Children’s Commissioner.

Walk the talk
What steps could you take in your home, workplace or community to encourage people to develop a greater sense of responsibility towards members of more vulnerable groups?

The last word
From the Bible, Luke 10, verses 30-32: ‘A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers… A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.  So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.’

The shirt on your back

Quote

“Fashion is made to become unfashionable.”  Coco Chanel

News

So far 275 bodies have been pulled of the garment factory in Bangladesh which collapsed on Wednesday, but hundreds of other people in the building are still unaccounted for.  The tragedy has revealed a chain of connections from the grieving community in the outskirts of Dhaka all the way to high streets in Europe and North America.  

At one level this terrible event can be viewed through a culpability lens.  Are the factory directors to blame for ignoring the warning cracks in the structure, or the building owner who failed to meet construction standards?  To what extent is the government liable for its failure to implement health and safety policies, or is it the fault of western clothing brands who are constantly seeking to reduce costs in the supply chain?

It is likely that the pressure to drive down costs and increase profits by companies at the local, national and international levels ultimately influenced the main decisions and short cuts that led to the building collapse on Wednesday with thousands of people inside. 

The average American buys 68 garments and 8 pairs of shoes a year.  The West’s demand for cheap, ‘throw away’ fashion means factories in places like Bangladesh have to minimise their financial costs to stay in business – but at what relational cost?  The supply chain is not just an economic concept – it is a relational one too.

If this tragedy were to spur more consumers in the West to pressure big brands to take more responsibility for the working conditions at the other end of the supply chain, even if it means paying a little more for their clothes, then the loss of hundreds of grieving families outside Dhaka may not be entirely in vain.

Read on…

A seven minute video produced by the Fair Wear foundation, based in Amsterdam, explains the complexities of clothing supply chains, the ways people can be exploited and what can be done to improve the conditions for factory workers. Watch it here.

Walk the talk

Do you know where the shirt you are wearing was made?  Why not go to the website of the retailer you buy from or brand you wear to find out how ethical their supply chain is – and then send them an email with your thoughts?

The last word

From the Bible, Deuteronomy 22 verse 8: “When you build a new house, make a parapet around your roof so that you may not bring the guilt of bloodshed on your house if someone falls from the roof.”