The dilemmas of adoption

Quote

“Children need two things. One is roots and the other is wings.”  Anon

News

The Prime Minister announced his intention last week to speed up the process of adoption in England, since it takes on average two and a half years for a child to be adopted after being taken into care.

It’s clear that the adoption system is slow and bureaucratic, and a glimpse at the complex web of relational dilemmas surrounding children in care helps explain why. Social services have to consider the relational risks and benefits of the four options: returning the child to a parent or relative; placing the child with a foster family; permanent adoption into another family or keeping the child in a care home.

The culture in social services often views adoption as very much second best; biological relationships come first so the priority is to restore children to their (extended) family – even if that takes months or years to achieve. However, while social workers are keen not to separate a child in the long run from their biological family, every month that goes by leaves the child’s security and attachment issues unresolved.

Our capricious media has encouraged an excessively cautious approach to adoption, as professionals want to avoid the risk of a bad placement; society rarely praises them for successfully getting children out of the care system, instead they are vilified whenever there is a failure.

Speeding up the adoption process will help the relatively small proportion of children who are adoptable; as for the remainder of the 65,520 children in state care in England, their relational needs must be the first goal in any further shake up of the care system.

Read on…

Developmental psychologist Sharon Willmer has collaborated with the Relationships Foundation on a research project looking at five foundations for maturation; the first one if these is attachment.  Read this chapter in the forthcoming report here.

Walk the talk

A child’s development is most often assessed in terms of health indicators or academic progress; harder to measure are the emotional and relational factors.  If you have any children in your care, why not take a few minutes to brush up on ways to get them talking with you about their friendships and feelings?  (Check out some ideas here.)

The last word

From the Bible, Matthew 19 verses 13-14: “Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.  Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.’ ”