Joseph’s agonising dilemma

Church tradition over the centuries has sanitised the Nativity story, leaving it a far cry from the earthy reality and scandal of the actual events surrounding Mary and Joseph.  Paintings and images of the Christmas story are often idealised and domesticated, reducing the gripping drama of the Nativity to something rather tame.

Joseph is a key figure in the actual story, and the French painter James Tissot sought to express something of the intense pressure Joseph was under as he was unwittingly catapaulted into what would become the fulcrum of world history. 

 

The scene is Joseph’s workshop in Nazareth; the carpenter is depicted as an older man, following church tradition (but probably incorrect historically).  He is unable to concentrate on his work, although he has clearly been industrious that day, judging by the piles of wood shavings all about.

Some women are filing past on their way back from fetching water, and they have caught Joseph’s attention.  Perhaps he is hoping for a glimpse of his betrothed… or is he wishing he had set his heart on one of the other suitable maidens in the village instead? 

Either way, his mind constantly went back to Mary’s gut-wrenching announcement, which had landed him in an impossible dilemma.  Either he must denounce her publicly as an adulteress – which he had every right to do – with the possibility that the elders would condemn her to death by stoning.  Or he could break all ties with Mary by divorcing her quietly, which would bring much humiliation to her family.

The third alternative was unthinkable: to marry her quickly, knowing full well that he was not the father of her child, and in spite of the shame and disgrace which a shotgun wedding would bring to both families.  Deep in Joseph’s heart, beneath the seething emotions of anger and foolishness and betrayal, he couldn’t quite dismiss the thought that this might be the right thing to do. 

The women who were chatting gaily as they passed in front of his door had no idea whatsoever how much hinged on the decision that the anxious carpenter had to make.  That night he had the most extraordinary dream, after which he his heart was firmly set on the third option. 

Joseph is described as a righteous man, meaning that in all his relationships he sought the way of justice, mercy and truth.  Faced with this excruciating dilemma that was not of his choosing, he wrestled on until he found the way which was right in God’s eyes, and then resolutely stuck to it and all its implications.

For a while Joseph experienced shame and embarrassment in the 1^st century world of Nazareth; yet because of his decision to protect and love and provide for Mary and her son, he has been earning the applause of men and women in every nation and generation since. 

May your heart be stirred and inspired as you reflect on the tapestry of relationships at the centre of the Christmas story. 

WikiLeaks: democracy, diplomacy and keeping secrets

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“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”  Mark Twain

News
The WikiLeaks furore is perhaps an example of what happens when an irresistible force (the assumption that the internet exists to make any information accessible to anyone, anywhere) collides with an immovable object (the assumption that western governments must have the right to restrict access to information in order to accomplish their goals).  

Both sides in the dispute claim that what they are doing is right.  Julian Assange writes, “I grew up in Queensland where people spoke their minds bluntly. They distrusted big government as something that could be corrupted if not watched carefully… The dark days of corruption [before 1989] are testimony to what happens when the politicians gag the media from reporting the truth.  These things have stayed with me. WikiLeaks was created around these core values.”

Hillary Clinton, on the other hand, states, “People of good faith understand the need for sensitive diplomatic communications, both to protect the national interest and the global common interest… In almost every profession – whether it’s law or journalism, finance or medicine or academia or running a small business – people rely on confidential communications to do their jobs. We count on the space of trust that confidentiality provides. When someone breaches that trust, we are all worse off for it.”

At heart this issue is relational.  It is about trust and the appropriate level of disclosure to third parties about something pertaining to another person in a relationship.  WikiLeaks assumes that there is an absolute value in the public knowing everything that US diplomatic or military officials write. 

Yet the obligation to disclose the truth is relative to the relationship.  We don’t owe truth to our enemies; it is appropriate to leave lights on when leaving our house empty, to try and fool a burglar.  For diplomats there is a time for discretion, and a time for openness – and no less so for journalists.  One key criterion for deciding is to ask which relationships might ultimately be improved through this disclosure, and which ones might be harmed – and how?    

For whistleblowers to bring justice to a situation, they must be wise in choosing when and what to reveal.  The risk is that WikiLeaks have gone overboard with the scale and content of these leaked cables, such that any wrongs they were trying to redress will be eclipsed by the wider scandal they have created.

Read on...

The Jubilee Centre published a Cambridge Paper 3 years ago on a related topic – making and breaking promises, explored from a biblical perspective.  To reflect more on this please go to www.jubilee-centre.org/resources/promises_promises

Walk the talk

We regularly decide whether or not to disclose some information or an opinion about another person.  To what extent is our decision based on the desire to win an argument, or to defend our reputation?  We would do well to evaluate more carefully the impact which a disclosure would have on relationships, directly or indirectly, and whether the results are actually what we want. 

The last word

From the Bible, Proverbs 22:11 “He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend.”

Friday Five is written and sent out by Jonathan Tame of Relationships Global www.relationshipsglobal.net

Japan – land of the rising or setting sun?

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“We Japanese enjoy the small pleasures, not extravagance. I believe a man should have a simple lifestyle -- even if he can afford more.” Massaru Ibuka, founder of the Sony Corporation

News
The Economist this week asks what lessons will be learned from Japan as it is the first major country to face up to a rapidly declining population from natural causes.  Its 127 million inhabitants will shrink to 89 million by 2050, as Japan’s birth rate of 1.4 children per woman is far below the replacement rate.  As the country ages the number of people in work for every retired person will fall from 4 in 1995 to 2 by 2020, putting huge strains on the social security system.

Normally this is presented as an economic problem, with social implications.  We would argue that it’s the other way round: behind the demographic and economic issues are relational ones, particularly those that contribute to the low birth rate.

98% of children are born to married couples in Japan, and the average couple has two children.  However, more and more people are not marrying, or marrying late.  In part corporate culture is to blame: women are implicitly discouraged from returning to their jobs after having children, which forces them to choose between family and career.  Then the greater respect for older people in Japanese culture means that during a period of economic stagnation younger men face higher unemployment and lower incomes – which delay family formation.

Finally, the culture of very long working hours leaves little time for people to build relationships leading to marriage – a problem faced by many other countries pursuing high economic growth rates.  Driving this is the strong collective ethos which leads to intense national pride, often focused on economic prowess.

The challenge facing Japan is to reconsider what really constitutes success as a nation.  Unless that includes relational wellbeing and social sustainability, alongside economic growth, the sun will start sinking on the Japanese nation.

Read on...

Yesterday, British prime minister David Cameron announced that his government is launching a new national measure for wellbeing, in recognition that GDP alone is an inadequate measure for national success.  Read his explanation of why this is important here: www.number10.gov.uk/news/speeches-and-transcripts/2010/11/pm-speech-on-well-being-57569

Walk the talk

The perennial question of work-life balance needs revisiting regularly.  It’s not as simple as reducing long working hours, but rather to think of how our present lifestyle and time commitments reflect the importance we attach to various relationships.  Is there one thing which you have been thinking you ought to do, but haven’t got round to, that would invest time in one of your most important relationships?  Why not resolve to do it now?

The last word

From the Bible, Psalm 127, verse 3: "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him."

The Irish debt crisis: lessons in lending

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“A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.”  Mark Twain.

News
The Euro has taken another knock this week as the Irish government is struggling to support its ailing banks, having promised to guarantee all their loans in 2008 during the credit crisis.  This has left the country with the highest public deficit in the eurozone this year, at 14.3% of GDP.

Politicians, bankers and journalists have been scurrying back and forth between Dublin, Brussels and other European capitals; Ireland says it does not need a bailout, some EU leaders think otherwise.  A relational perspective on the financial crisis over the last two years emphasizes one of its underlying causes. 

Despite attempts in recent years to treat debt as a commodity, in reality any loan is a relational transaction: one person lends some of his or her money to another person, who promises to repay it by a certain date.  The bank is the go between, acting in the interests of both parties (and their shareholders).  There is trust involved, and risk and uncertainty with any loan; these issues can be assessed and monitored provided there is genuine knowledge and relationship between the banks and their customers.

However, when loans are commoditised and sold on, the connection between borrower and lender becomes remote and accountability falls away.  The less relational lending becomes, the higher the default rate tends to be: banks are more likely to make loans that haven’t been properly evaluated, and borrowers can more easily get away with defaulting on their debts.

When the boom years came to an end in the Irish property market, the credit which financed it still had to be paid.  The Irish government decided at the time to protect bank depositors from any loss, so the banks turned to the state; the government has underwritten the banks but now has an unsustainable deficit.  Who will pay for the Irish bad debts?  It appears, ironically, that those at the furthest distance relationally from Ireland – taxpayers from across the EU – may ultimately end up paying for the remoteness between borrower and lender in the Emerald Isle.

Read on...

Dr Paul Mills is a senior economist in one of the international financial institutions; over the last 20 years he has studied alternatives to debt-based financial systems, including Islamic banking.  The following Cambridge Paper explores the reasons why interest was banned in Old Testament Israel, and what lessons can be drawn from this today. http://www.jubilee-centre.org/document.php?id=3

Walk the talk

The obligation to repay every debt should be taken very seriously, but so too the obligation to cancel a debt when the borrower is clearly unable to repay the loan.  Is there a debt which you need either to be more diligent in repaying, or else to be willing to forgive?

The last word

From the Bible, Proverbs 22 verse 7: “The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is slave to the lender.”
Romans 13 verse 8: “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another”.

What’s in a symbol? Poppies in Britain and China

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“In Flanders fields the poppies grow
      Between the crosses, row on row,
   That mark our place; and in the sky
   The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.”

John McCrae, Canadian military doctor, 1915.

News
Wreaths of poppies were laid at various war memorials in Britain and the Commonwealth over the last few days, as symbols of gratitude and remembrance of those who laid down their lives to defend their country during the two world wars and subsequent conflicts.  In countries allied to Britain in the two world wars, the poppy has become a deeply meaningful symbol of sacrifice for others.

In China, however, the poppies worn by UK prime minister David Cameron and his delegation last week symbolised something quite different.  During the opium wars in the mid 19^th century, Britain used superior military power to force Chinese markets to accept their imports – particularly opium, which was illegal in China – in order to pay for the huge exports of tea to the British Empire.  Currency wars today carry echoes of these opium wars in the past.

This humiliating memory (for both nations now), rather than soldiers’ lives laid down in the 20^th century, is the one recalled by the Chinese when they see British people wearing red poppies.

In seeking to build strong and healthy relationships between nations, the preconditions of directness of communication, continuity of relationship over time and parity of power play a major part (these are three of the five pillars of Relational Proximity).  Knowing the history of relations between two nations is essential for leaders to understand how to conduct the present relationship in an appropriate and sensitive way. 

While China continues to gain the ascendancy over Britain in economic, financial and military terms, ‘parity’ does not have to mean equality in these areas.  Rather, shared participation in decisions, fairness in application of ethics and respect for the values of the other country are the key ingredients of parity in any relationship between two nations, if they are to move towards lasting peace and prosperity.

Read on...

Jeremy Ive wrote an insightful chapter on International Relations in the Jubilee Manifesto, the landmark book presenting a relational basis for Christian social reform, edited by Michael Schluter and John Ashcroft.  You can read it on our website here: www.relationshipsglobal.net/Web/OnlineStore/Product.aspx?ID=52   

Walk the talk

Almost all cultural symbols, such as the poppy worn around Remembrance Day, have a story behind them.  Think of someone you know, originally from a different culture to you, who has worn or displayed a symbol you know little about.  Why not make an opportunity to enquire about the story behind that symbol, so as to understand the person and their culture more fully?

The last word

From the Bible, Ecclesiastes 10, verse 4: “If a ruler's anger rises against you, do not leave your post; calmness can lay great errors to rest.” 

Gambling and the lottery: usual losers and unusual winners

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“Gambling is the son of avarice and the father of despair.”  French proverb

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.”  W.C. Fields

News
Journalists have been rushing headlong to speak to a retired couple in Canada this week, when it was revealed that they had given away 98% of their £6.7million lottery jackpot from July.  After giving something to each family member, Allen and Violet Large donated the rest to churches, hospitals, fire departments and other good causes. They bought nothing for themselves, keeping back only £120,000 of their winnings for a rainy day. 

When interviewed, the retired welder and his wife stated that they were quite content with their modest home and had everything they needed.  The international media were intrigued to find people who are apparently immune to the lure of unearned wealth, and who used their windfall to favour other people and build relationships. 

Contrast this with the more common negative effects of gambling, and its rapid growth online, which is more likely to lead to problem gambling (defined as “gambling to a degree that compromises, disrupts or damages family, personal or recreational pursuits”).  Problem gamblers are twice as likely to divorce, 20 times more likely to attempt suicide, and have higher levels of debt than non gamblers; two thirds of them commit crimes to support their habit.

The number of such gamblers is around 0.5% of the population in UK.  Although this is lower than in Hong Kong (5.3%), USA (3.5%) or South Africa (1.4%), it still amounts to 250,000 people – compared with 327,000 problem drug users in the UK. 

Despite the uplifting story from Canada, the reality is that addictive gambling produces two groups of losers: not just the majority of gamblers who lose their bets, but the far greater number of third party losers - partners, families and friends who must suffer financially, physically or relationally as a consequence.

Read on...

When the British government was debating whether to start a national lottery in the 1990s, our colleagues at the Jubilee Centre reviewed the arguments for and against such an initiative; although the statistics in their report are dated, the principles of the argument are still relevant today; see http://www.jubilee-centre.org/resources/the_case_against_the_national_lottery

Walk the talk

None of us sets out to become a problem gambler; it happens when we cross several small boundaries.  Some of the warning signs are hiding from others the amount spent, starting to borrow in order to gamble, difficulty in saying no, or needing to bet more and more to satisfy the urge.  If you gamble regularly, no matter how harmless you think it is, choose to make yourself accountable to someone else, who can detect any warning signs in time.

The last word

From the Bible, 1 Timothy 6:9 “But those who are determined to be rich fall into a temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful lusts, such as drown men in ruin and destruction.”

The business of infidelity

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"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."
Leo Tolstoy

News
A recent newspaper report announced that the world’s largest website promoting infidelity had just opened in the UK.  The founder of Ashley Madison said that over 7 million people around the world had used the site since 2001.  He justified his approach by saying that people are going to cheat on their partners anyway, and he is just helping his customers do it more discreetly, and avoid certain pitfalls.  “We’re living in an infidelity world; monogamy is dead,” confidently declared Canadian businessman Noel Biderman, who is behind the agency.

What does this say about the relational climate of our culture?  Firstly it reflects the impact of individualism on relationships: our personal needs are paramount, and if these are not being met fully in our present relationship, then we feel entitled to look elsewhere – no matter the risk of causing tremendous pain to our partners, our children, our parents….

Secondly, in setting up a business to help people lie and cheat on their partners, Mr Biderman is normalising deceit and falsehood.  But do those same people feel any less hurt or indignant when they are on the receiving end of such actions?  Lastly, the apparent respectability of this website adds credibility to the notion that marriages will inevitably fail.

Affairs appear to offer freedom – from the constraints of commitment.  Yet true freedom in relationships depends on trust and that in turn is nurtured by each partner being faithful and honouring their commitment to the other.  The more couples seek to build that kind of freedom in their relationships, the less demand there will be for Mr Biderman’s sordid business. 

Read on...

What is the state of marriage in Britain?  Our colleagues at the Jubilee Centre produced an insightful resource, The UK Marriage Index 2009, providing a snapshot of the nation’s marital health – and what can be done to improve it.  Read the short paper here www.jubilee-centre.org/uploaded/files/resource_336.pdf  

Walk the talk

Hopefully the thought of infidelity is one you will rarely have to struggle with, but small daily choices can strengthen your relationship: kind words, a thoughtful action, an expression of affection, some undivided attention, or an unexpected gift.  Which one could you do today for your spouse?.

The last word

From the Bible, Matthew 18, verse 7 is a sobering thought: "Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!”

Friday Five: Chile miners rescue - a triumph for relationships

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"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." Kahlil Gibran.

News
Something very special happened in Chile this week.  The seventy day ordeal of the 33 miners trapped underground came to a triumphant end, and people all round the world cheered as one by one the miners were lifted to safety and their families, freedom and fame.

Sadly, industrial accidents happen all the time, miners are trapped and killed underground regularly, yet such events rarely attract more than a cursory news report.  What made this one so special?  Was it the record breaking length of time the miners were underground?  Was it the extraordinary drama of the survival and rescue operation that was unfolding before the world’s media gathered at the San Jose mine?  Or perhaps it was the way this story brings to the fore the immense value and potential of human relationships… 

Witness the dedication, hard work and skill of the rescuers as they sought to reach their trapped colleagues in time.  Witness the way the miners had to organise themselves, eke out their meagre supplies, and keep their spirits up awaiting rescue.  Witness the way in which people around the world helped the Chilean government in the operation: special cellphones from Korea, flexible fiber-optic cable from Germany, advice from NASA, the rescue capsule from Austria, the U.S.-manufactured rig and drill bits – paid for by Japanese and British investors – that managed to penetrate through the rock in record time.

Perhaps best of all was the moment each miner was reunited with his loved ones after emerging from what could so easily have been his tomb.  Those of us watching were privileged to witness affection in its purest form – something present in most relationships yet so often diluted or neglected by the stresses of everyday family life.  This time, however, that love for another – distilled and refined by the agonising ten week ordeal endured by the miners and their families camped in the desert of northern Chile – was poured out tenderly, uniquely, gloriously in each long hoped for embrace.

Read on...

The BBC spent an unprecedented £100,000 on covering the rescue in Chile; the themes of courage, hope and jubilation come through frequently in this blow by blow account of the operation: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/9086813.stm  

Walk the talk

Are you aware of a prolonged ordeal that a friend or acquaintance is going through?  Think of an action or gesture which you might make to demonstrate they are not forgotten, and if possible help to lighten their load, even if only for a short while. 

The last word

From the Bible, Galatians chapter 6 verse 2: “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.”

NHS reforms: counting the hidden costs of change

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"The greatest danger in times of turbulence is not the turbulence; it is to act with yesterday’s logic." Peter Drucker

News
Today the British Medical Association issued its official response to Health Secretary Andrew Lansley’s proposal for far-reaching reforms of Britain’s health service, the NHS.  These include giving more freedom and choice to patients, passing to groups of local doctors the responsibility for purchasing hospital services, eliminating whole swathes of management, and privatising an increasing number of clinical services.

The BMA argue in their response that the reforms could well undermine the stability and long term future of the NHS, setting different groups of clinicians against each other, and be costly to implement.  In a hard hitting letter to Mr Lansley, the BMA writes, "We urge the government and NHS organisations to focus on those areas where they can truly eliminate waste and achieve genuine efficiency savings rather than adopt a slash-and-burn approach to health care, with arbitrary cuts and poorly considered policies."

Any change in organizational structure has relational costs and implications; new relationships must be created, requiring time for people to gain understanding and trust; existing relationships can be improved but other productive ones may have to be truncated.  One problem with the present analysis is that the indirect costs (in terms of money, time and productivity) incurred in changing relationships are not brought into the equation and set off against the intended financial benefits.

A question that should be at the heart of any sweeping reform to public services is, “What relational architecture would be the most effective in increasing quality of services and to improve efficiency?”

Read on...

Our colleagues at the Relationships Foundation published a book at the end of their Relational Health Care research project, entitled “Relationships in the NHS”.  The third chapter argues for the notion that relationships are the most important, and the most neglected, resource in the NHS.  Read it here www.relationshipsglobal.net/Web/OnlineStore/Product.aspx?ID=51 

Walk the talk

Are you involved in any discussions regarding change in your organisation?  The next time your opinion is sought, why not raise the question of what relationships will be affected under each option, and are the relational as well as financial costs and benefits of the changes being taken into consideration?

The last word

From the Bible, Ecclesiastes 7, verse10: “Do not say, ‘Why were the old days better than these?’ For it is not wise to ask such questions.”

The Commonwealth Games: more at stake than gold medals

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“Serious sport has nothing to do with fair play. It is bound up with hatred, jealousy, boastfulness, disregard of all rules and sadistic pleasure in witnessing violence. In other words, it is war minus the shooting.”  George Orwell.

News
Next week's Commonwealth Games in India threatens to be a fiasco.  The sports facilities in Delhi are unsafe, two structures have collapsed over the last few days, and parts of the athletes' accommodation are barely fit for human habitation.  Several competitors have pulled out, worried about health and security issues.

Despite India's rich tradition in offering hospitality, they are struggling to welcome the world's athletes as they had hoped.  On closer inspection there are a multiplicity of relational issues behind the physical failures that are glaringly apparent in Delhi.

Local journalists state the problems stem from India wanting to compete with China, trying to outdo their hosting of the last Olympics.  Effective coordination of the numerous organising committees for the Games has been hampered by a failure of the various chairpersons to meet - another relationship problem.  Protests over the displacement of over 100,000 people from the land needed to build the venues and the appaling safety record of construction (47 building workers have been killed), and lobbying by environmental groups have added to delays in the project.  These suggest that the elites are pursuing national prestige at the expense of the most vulnerable, uprooting some of Delhi's poorest citizens and destroying their communities.

This begs the question, who are the Commonwealth Games for?  Which relationships are enrichened by having the Games in India?  Most Indians are not even interested in track and field events - their national sports are hockey and cricket.  If the government's main motivation is to prove to other nations that India is a modern, sophisticated country, ready to host major international sports events and take its place on the world stage, then sadly, the evidence this week suggests the opposite. 

Read on...

What makes a nation great?  We would argue that it comes from the quality of its relationships, not just at the household level, but across the wide spectrum of public and private life.  Our colleagues at Relationships Foundation argue that a new set of national policy goals is needed, based on national wellbeing, which in turn depends on the quality of our relationships.  Read their persuasive arguments in "A Relationships State of the Nation" www.relationshipsglobal.net/Web/OnlineStore/Product.aspx?ID=50.

Walk the talk

Although it may be subconsciously done, how often do you seek to build your reputation on the outward signs of success, rather than on the strength of your character and the quality of your relationships?  It may be countercultural to choose the latter, but it is authentic and the rewards are enduring.

The last word

From the Bible, Proverbs 14:34: "Righteousness [which can be defined as right relationships] exalts a nation..."

The US Tea Party and the spectre of fascism

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“Democracy is talking itself to death. The people do not know what they want; they do not know what is the best for them. There is too much foolishness, too much lost motion. I have stopped the talk and the nonsense. I am a man of action. Democracy is beautiful in theory; in practice it is a fallacy. You in America will see that some day.”  Benito Mussolini in a letter to the New York Times, 1928.

News
A sea change in US politics in favour of the “Tea Party” movement is emerging in the US primaries ahead of the November elections for Congress. On Wednesday, newcomer Christine O’Donnell beat veteran congressman Mike Castle to the Republican nomination for Delaware, sending a powerful message to the party elite that people want change.

Named after the Boston Tea Party in 1773, this populist movement has emerged from nowhere as an angry reaction to the massive government bailout of big corporations and costly health care reforms – all at the taxpayers expense.    

Although the current focus of the movement is strictly economic (the central tenets are fiscal responsibility, limited government and free markets), some of its leading supporters have far right political views.  Opponents on the left criticize some Tea Party members as racist, but others recognize that it is helping democracy by warning how the federal government's amassing of power is taking the country in a totalitarian direction.

Whatever the Tea Party becomes, it has won the support of nearly 20% of the US population in just 18 months, without any leadership or central organization.  It shows how quickly large numbers of angry, disaffected citizens can be rallied, especially using the internet. 

While the movement seems mostly level-headed now, it is vulnerable to being swayed by a more militant rallying cry – which is raising the spectre of fascism again in European countries such as Austria, France, Belgium and UK.

Read on...

Michael Schluter has written some brief notes reflecting on the rising threat of fascism as one of the long term implications and consequences of the West’s debt crisis.  You can read them here: www.relationshipsglobal.net/Web/OnlineStore/Product.aspx?ID=49

Walk the talk

Anger is a normal reaction to injustice and wrongdoing.  It is a powerful motivator to action.  The challenge for individuals and groups in society is how to direct that anger in a constructive way in order to right wrongs and oppose injustice – but without retaliation or revenge.  The benefits of getting this right are immense, as is the further damage of getting it wrong.  How well are you directing your anger, both personally and towards what is happening in society?

The last word

From the Bible, Matthew 16, verse 3: "You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times."

Post mortem on the Gulf oil disaster

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"I would love to just spend a lot of my time venting and yelling at people. But that's not the job I was hired to do. My job is to solve this problem," President Obama on the Gulf oil spill.

News
On Wednesday BP published its report on what went wrong on the ill-fated Deepwater Horizon drilling rig on 20^th April.  No one action or inaction was behind the accident, states the report, instead "multiple companies, work teams and circumstances were involved over time".  However, the words blame, regret, apology, mistake and pollution are completely absent from the report.

Not surprisingly, the language of the report and initial responses from the two other companies involved tries to spread the responsibility as widely as possible, since any clear admission of liability would lead to far greater lawsuits for damages and compensation.

The tragedy of this disaster is not only the 11 lives lost, the fishing and tourism businesses which have suffered, and the long term damage to the environment.  The culture of blame and litigation has ended up preventing the people who know that they took a wrong decision from apologising unreservedly to those who have suffered as a result – which could at least have brought healing to the relationship and eased the burden of guilt. 

Instead, although the leaking well has finally been capped, and victims of the disaster will get compensation, the flow of resentment and bitterness that is still leaking into the hearts of many people remains unchecked.

Read on...

Donald Shriver’s book “An Ethic for Enemies – Forgiveness in Politics” seeks to explore beyond the language of justice in international relations to how forgiveness between nations might enter the realm of politics.  To get a taste of this challenging book, you can read the introduction here www.relationshipsglobal.net/Web/OnlineStore/Product.aspx?ID=48 

Walk the talk

Although forgiveness is usually between two individuals, relationships between individuals and groups can also be broken (e.g. between a Louisiana fisherman and BP as a company.)  The next time you are aware of any resentment in your heart against a group – perhaps a social class, members of a different race or nation, or the adherents of another religion, consider what lies at its root and how you might find a way towards forgiveness. 

The last word

From the Bible, Mark 11 verse 25: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Middle East peace talks: what’s in a handshake?

Quote

“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.”
Cherie Carter-Scott

News

This week President Obama has brought together four government leaders for the nearly impossible task of making a fresh agreement on peace in the Middle East.  Israel’s prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu shook hands with Palestinian leader Mahmoud Abbas, as Jordan and Egypt’s heads of state looked on.  Talks began in Washington on Thursday to try and find a way forward on the intractable issues of West Bank settlements, security, the borders of a Palestinian State, Jerusalem and the refugee issue.

While this fresh initiative is to be welcomed and encouraged, there are limits to what heads of state can do, for all their vigorous efforts and noble speeches.  Mr Abbas only represents the West Bank Palestinians; Hamas, who rule Gaza, are excluded from the talks.  Then there is no telling whether these leaders’ successors will keep their commitments (Egypt’s President Mubarak is 82 and frail).  Also there are militant groups in each country who may seek to sabotage the process – such as those responsible for killing 4 Israeli settlers on Tuesday.

What hope is there of these talks leading to a lasting peace?  Ultimately what is needed is the reconciliation of peoples who are deeply suspicious and fearful of each other.  The path towards rebuilding trust and the road to forgiveness are long and hard, but exemplary relational leadership can bring this about.  This is not primarily a task for heads of state but for “ordinary” Israelis and Palestinians learning to look at the other as a fellow human being again, and daring to take small steps of reconciliation in their direction, beginning, perhaps, with a handshake.

Read on...

While President Obama’s initiative makes the headlines, there are other organisations working unobtrusively behind the scenes to promote dialogue and build bridges of reconciliation.  One of these is our sister organisation, Concordis International, whose work you can read about here www.concordis-international.org/.  They recently produced a 28 page booklet on the Israeli Palestinian Conflict, which is available for free, or you can read it online www.concordis-international.org/files/pdfs/Concordis_Papers_VIII_UKChurches_ISRPALConflict_2ndEdition.pdf  

Walk the talk

Some of you may follow the Israeli-Palestinian conflict closely, others have perhaps lost sight of what it is all about.  While most of us are not in a position to get involved directly, you could support Concordis International and help bring about dialogue and reconciliation in Africa and the Middle East through them. Visit www.concordis-international.org/support-us.html  

The last word

From the Bible, Matthew 5, verse 9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”

Pakistan flooding – relationships and relief

Quote

“In Sindh [the River Indus] is called ‘Purali’, meaning capricious, an apt description of a river which wanders freely across the land, creating cities and destroying them.”  Alice Albinia

News

“A tsunami in slow motion” is how UN secretary general Ban Ki-Moon described the inexorable advance of monsoon floods down the Indus valley in Pakistan.  20% of the country is flooded, 1,600 lives have been lost, over 17 million people have been affected, 800,000 are cut off from all but air assistance, and 3.5 million children are at risk of disease outbreaks.  And the floodwaters are still rising in the south.

This unprecedented catastrophe strains every relationship: families coping with the loss of their homes, livestock and possessions; communities struggling to relocate, organise makeshift shelters and obtain scarce aid supplies; government officials overwhelmed by demands to do more and act faster; town inhabitants away from the flooding having to adjust to an influx of displaced people on their doorsteps. 

There are invisible victims of the flood aside from those whose land and houses are under water: urban migrants who have lost their rural safety net; students who can no longer be supported by their parents’ farms, and Pakistani diaspora who can only look on helplessly thousands of miles away.

The importance of relational networks to the relief and recovery process is critical.  If extended families, informal groups, community associations or religious congregations can be supported and involved in the relief process, as opposed to being overlooked by aid workers under immense pressure just to deliver supplies, the quicker the recovery will be.

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Margaret Wheatley is an organisational consultant, writer and speaker.  In the following article she argues how relationships are the basic building blocks for life – both in an organisation and in a community when a disaster strikes.  www.relationshipsglobal.net/Web/OnlineStore/Product.aspx?ID=47

Walk the talk

Perhaps someone living on your street or working in a local shop comes from Pakistan; you can be a part of the relief effort – relationally – by stopping and enquiring if any relatives are affected by the flood, and expressing your sympathy for their family’s plight.

The last word

From the Bible, Song of Solomon 8:7 “Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.”