Marriage Matters

Quote
“Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses.” English Proverb

News
National Marriage Week from 7th-14th February provides an opportunity to take stock of the whole institution of marriage. Earlier this week, Ian Duncan-Smith, the UK Work and Pensions Secretary, announced that £30 million would be made available for marriage and couple relationship support.

It goes without saying that marriage is a relational issue, but contrary to popular opinion, it is not just a private matter between two individuals. Many more relationships are affected by a marriage, and its success or failure, than the two primary participants and their immediate family.

Family life is marked by seasons of interdependence; some bring joy and fulfilment, others stress and resentment. Up till the second world war, extended families in Britain provided most care and support for the young and old, the sick and bereaved, and those who had fallen on hard times. Local charitable and voluntary institutions stepped in where extended families failed. Only in the aftermath of the war did state involvement become institutionalised with the goal of providing “cradle to grave” support for all.

The vision of a welfare state was a welcome relief to both families and an economy decimated by the war, but it had the unintended consequence of weakening the vital role of extended families as the first institution providing care and support. Gradually family obligation and charitable responsibility were eclipsed by a mentality of welfare entitlement – underwritten by the taxpayer.

As the welfare state becomes economically unsustainable, the most viable alternative is to encourage and support the extended family once more (although it must be recognised that even if the spirit is willing, high costs of housing, transport and even food may limit people’s ability to take on more).

This will require more than policy adjustment – a deeper cultural change is needed. One thing is clear though: any move by the government to provide support to couple relationships, on which the strength of the extended family hinges, is a worthy social investment.

Read on...
The Relationships Foundation issued an annual update to their report into the cost of family breakdown to the UK taxpayer, estimating it at £41.7 billion every year. You can read the details here.

Walk the talk
The burden of caring for family members often ends up unequally shared. Is one of your siblings doing a lot more of the work in caring for an elderly parent, for example? Is there something you might do to share the burden more equally?

The last word
From the Bible, Galatians 6, verse 2: "Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”